The China Cough

The air quality here has been so poor recently that it’s headline news around the world.  Beijing’s pollution over the weekend was literally off the scales.  Shanghai has been suffering from some nasty air too; I woke up on Saturday morning barely able to see the skyscrapers just a few blocks away from us through the hazy smog.  When we went out, even inside a grocery store deep within a mall, I could feel my nose burning.  Needless to say, our apartment’s air filters have been cranked to full capacity 24 hours a day for the past week.  I shudder to think about our electric bill, but it seems like the least serious of the potential consequences.

This morning I awoke to a very dry nose and scratchy throat.  A friend on the phone asked if I had a cold, because I sounded congested and gravelly.  My Chinese tutor also apparently noticed my symptoms during our lesson.  At the end, he told me he was going to teach me a buzzword.  He wrote out:

中国咳

Pronounced “zhongguo ke”, these characters translate as “China cough”.  The phrase started as the “Beijing cough”, and was used almost exclusively regarding foreigners who developed sore throats while living there.  But now, as pollution is rampant throughout the country and even born-and-raised urban Chinese are developing uncomfortable symptoms, the phrase has become ubiquitous.  

Today I won't get into the politics of censorship, and how the government has always tightly controlled air quality monitoring.  How they issued stern warnings to the United States, whose local consulates began their own testing and publishing of air quality metrics last year.  How I've noticed some recent signs of admittance of a problem, including the local government issuing notices to schools to halt outdoor exercises during heavy pollution periods.  How I'm hopeful that we will witness a shift in policy during our time as residents of China.  How I believe the conversion from coverup to cleanup is inevitable, if not imminent.

No, for today, I'll just enjoy another afternoon indoors…

Flavor Confusion

You know that popular flavor often denoted with a little leaf or green letters/packaging?  It is delicious when paired with chocolate, makes a yummy ice cream flavor, and is typically used to freshen breath in products like gum, lozenges, and mouthwash.

If you grew up in a culture like mine, you’re probably thinking mint.

But in the culture where I’m now living, this means green tea.

I have lived in China for almost a year and a half now, and still at least once every few weeks I will buy something “mint” flavored that makes it all the way into my mouth before I realize my mistake. 

Don’t get me wrong, I actually really like green tea as a drink (in fact, I’m enjoying a cup as I sit here typing).  I even enjoy the matcha green tea flavor used in desserts like ice cream and chocolate truffles and Starbucks lattes.  I’ve been known to purposefully buy that flavor many a time. 

Yet I cannot shake my association with certain products, certain labeling, and a certain flavor: mint.  And when I want – then expect – something mint-flavored, the green tea taste becomes rather repulsive.  I wonder how many more times I will repeat this mistake before I learn.  Probably just in time to move back to the US and shudder when my chocolate-covered matcha ice cream bar tastes surprisingly minty…

Santa Visits Shanghai

Although this was Tyler’s second Christmas, it was really her first experience understanding and participating in the holiday: dancing to carols, watching the twinkling lights on our tree, and eagerly unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning.

our little tree with stockings filled by Santa

Santa visited us, bringing Tyler a tricycle and some blocks, and bringing Matt a remote control car (hey, if you still believe…)

Santa's gifts for TJ & Matt

Matt’s dad joined us on Christmas eve for Mexican food and a movie (introduced us to The Big Chill – excellent film with excellent soundtrack!), then he spent the night so as not to miss TJ’s early start the next day.  We spent a lovely Christmas morning opening presents and eating cinnamon rolls.   

 

 

admiring herself in her new hat from cousin

Then we headed over to some dear friends’ home for a New Zealand Christmas dinner.  It’s summer there for the holiday, so ham sandwiches and salad are typical fare, and it was delicious.  We even got to group skype with friends that had moved back to Portugal.  It’s nice having a Shanghai “family” network of friends since all of us are so far from home for the holidays.

We hope you enjoyed a wonderful holiday season wherever you are, and here’s to a fantastic 2013!

Singapore

Matt traveled almost constantly through the month of December.  As a reward for all of us for surviving the month on the road / stuck at home, Tyler and I flew down to meet him at the end of his Singapore trip.  We had a lovely little vacation: a nice break from the bone-chilling Shanghai weather, great shopping and eating, beautiful lush surroundings, and quality family time.  It was a wonderful start to our holidays!

everything was so warm & tropical and NOT GRAY SHANGHAI!

posing at the botanic gardens

suspiciously eyeing the moss statues in the orchid house

enchanted at the brand new "world's largest oceanarium"

browsing the markets in Little India

riding the double-decker bus for a tour of the city

under the Marina Bay Sands resort

we got caught in a downpour!

Christmas tree + summer clothes

at the awesome public pool / water park

How to be a Chinese Handyman

First, get an old bag with lots of pockets.  Pockets are essential, even though your bag will not be sorted into any discernible system.

Then, fill this bag with random screws, nails, nuts, bolts, and bits of wire.  Under no circumstances should you visit a hardware store to purchase these trinkets.  That would ruin the intended effect, which is to suggest you have been cultivating your collection for many years.  The more used your doodads, the better.  Bits of rust and paint add intrigue.  Broken nails are a bonus.  If you can gather lint and hair and unidentifiable grime on a little spiral of metal wire, consider yourself a master of your trade.  Display this wire on an outer loop of your bag like a badge of honor.  You will notice clients eyeing your muck-covered wire, because they too recognize the value it holds.  Their queasy expression masks their sense of wonder and jealousy.  Go ahead, flick your bag to leave a bit of this wire's treasure behind in your client's home.  They love this.

Once you have your bag ready, you should devote attention to your nail.  I mean the one on your finger, your non-dominant pinky to be exact.  Allow it to grow out.  Do not cut it ever again.  Once it is of sufficient length, you may begin filing.  Work towards a point.  Eventually this nail will be very useful to you.  No, not for your work.  For picking your nose.  But this skill (with accompanying specialized nail) is a job requirement.

Learn the art of furniture climbing.  Step-stools and ladders are for amateurs.  When a client calls you to look at their broken light fixture or install drapes above a window, they are hoping for a simultaneous balancing act worthy of the circus.  Once you enter their home, begin searching out the most precarious way to climb to their ceiling.  Counters or window ledges are too obvious, too basic.  Standing on an antique side table is a decent start.  The next level is to perch on the edge of their delicate armchair.  Maybe walk across the back of their sofa, where you've placed your old bag, muck-side down of course.  Once you've mastered one-piece climbs, try balancing a chair on top of a bookcase.  Tilt the chair for maximum sighs of wonder from your clients-cum-audience.  You must be on the lookout for the occasional tricky client who offers you their sturdy and sensible footstool.  Shrug it off and continue swaying on their rolling desk chair as you hammer away at their ceiling.

Which brings us to your final preparation: practice the art of the well-placed whack.  The western idiom about duct tape and WD-40 is too complicated; it requires remembering whether your desired result is stuck or unstuck.  Worse yet, it requires carrying supplies that you might actually use -- not the point of the bag, remember.  The Chinese handyman credo is simpler: every household quandary can be resolved with a bang.  If one thwack doesn't do the trick, try another.  Or ten.  Or 100.  Or basically just keep banging away until the problem is fixed.  Despite defying all rules of physics and logic, this strategy actually works 99% of the time.

Once you’ve delivered the golden whack, your job is done.  Leave the furniture upended, stacked, and ideally teetering dangerously.  Remember to flick your bag before you go.  As an encore, demonstrate your pinky-dagger nose-picking abilities on the way out the door.  You have mastered the art and science of the Chinese handyman.

Trick or Treat

I’m a little disappointed that since living in a dorm in college, I have never had a trick-or-treater come to my door.  In DC this was because only drunk homeless men stumbled by my alleyway entrance.  In Spanish Harlem, it wasn’t worth it for a kid to hike up 5 ½ flights of stairs for one lame piece of candy.  In the village, everyone watched or participated in the parade instead.  Which brings us to China…

Last year, I chronicled how Halloween was starting to catch on as a holiday, thanks to the proliferation of expats, especially Americans.  This year, we saw the big nightclub up our street setting up a haunted-house type gauntlet that costumed patrons had to walk through to enter the club.  We saw a row of shops offering sweets to trick-or-treaters who came by (T-o-T-ing at shops, rather than residences, was common in NYC too -- makes sense in big cities of mostly apartment dwellers, I guess).

As for our celebration, we kept it simple this year.  First we got dressed in costume (well, at least one of us did)…

not sure about this outfit, Daddy

ahoy, sailor!

got my T-o-T bag and everything!

…then we went out for a ice cream at Cold Stone (yep, they’re here in Shanghai).  Treat indeed!

no pausing for silly photos, just gimme the ice cream!

can't smile because I'm thinking about that next bite!

Beyond the Pale

Now that summertime has turned to fall, the ubiquitous umbrellas are disappearing.  This isn’t due to a decrease in rain.  Instead it’s because umbrellas here – particularly for women – aren’t used to stay dry.  Rather, they are used to stay pale.

lots of umbrellas, not a drop of rain

I guess a more appropriate term for these required summer accessories would be "parasols".  They are quite fancy here, with tons of colors and patterns, some adorned in lace and sequins, and even including undersides with some pretty serious looking UV-blocking material.  Think ball-gown on the outside, spacesuit on the inside. 

If a lunchtime stroll on a sunny day necessitates a parasol, then what about a trip to the beach?  Well, the new trend in Qingdao and other Chinese beach communities is the "face-kini".**  To me, this doesn’t look like a particularly enjoyable swim outfit, but I guess it does allow women to both enjoy the ocean and keep their skin completely protected.

the makings of a beach-themed horror movie?  (c) AFP/Getty Images 

This concern with remaining pale extends beyond outdoor protection.  When I want to buy face-wash or body lotion, I have to carefully search through the aisles to find the small shelf of products that do not contain “whitening” agents.  There are special creams designed to bleach every part of a woman’s body, from armpits to “down there”.  That particular product was a rather horrifying discovery.

Considering the culture I grew up in includes tanning salons and bronzing creams, I cannot claim any sort of superiority over these women who strive to remain fair.  And frankly, the lady under the parasol will have healthier skin as a result of her habits, assuming she goes easy on the bleaching products. 

But as someone who finds umbrellas rather cumbersome, it seems like a nuisance to have to carry one everyday, just to stay that extra shade of pale.

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**link to related NYT article here